Friday, July 23, 2010

Emotional Laundry

So I am sitting here trying to fold laundry and not getting overly emotional, I am folding maternity clothes that I am passing on to my little sister that is due in December. I have gotten over the fact that she's due, and thankfully everything is looking great for her too. However, I just found out the other night that my other little sister is due too. She is a single mommy and already having trouble raising her two girls that she does have (she can do this though, I know that). I am a little jealous of her, I would be lying if I said I wasn't. I want a baby so bad, it hurts at times. Having two miscarriages in a row is painful and it makes me scared to try again, but I will, someday. But right now we need to pay off our debt, the medical bills, they seem never ending right now.
Anyways, as I am folding the maternity clothes I just keep thinking how I should be wearing them right now and getting ready for my own addition, shouldn't I be over this already??? I just want to cry about it, I did actually and then I prayed. I prayed for help to get through this again and then for my sisters' pregnancies. I have found my peace, I have, but I guess I am just having an off day and need to vent or something, but no one is around, just my sleeping little boys and even if they weren't sleeping, they are not the ones I want to vent too. lol Blogging about my feelings have helped me out, so that's what I am doing.
Sorry to those who do not want to read this, but this my blog. :)

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